Hello, and welcome to my page! I’m Phillip Norbert Årp, or, as everyone likes to yell at me, Pnårp!
“What’s this page all about?” you ask? Well, ask, and I shall tell you something or other. This time, I shall thusly tell you this: Every week, usually on Sunday—if I actually remember that it’s Sunday when Sunday finally rolls around and rears its baleful, pestilent head—I sit down in front of the ol’ computer, pick up the ol’ board of keys, and bang out a few paragraphs describing what most likely happened in my life over the past few days. Sometimes interesting, sometimes merely confusing, sometimes skull-crushingly boring—but updated weekly nonetheless! And always filled with the wheedling, needling chatter of trillions upon trillions of lawn gnomes. Oh yes, always… always, always…
That’s right, dearies: Each and every week promises to bring a new steaming pile of text squeezed out by yours truly and deposited carefully on this here website. Isn’t that wonderful?!
“So, it’s one of those blog things,” you say? And I reply: “…Blbphplplhlbhuhh??”
If you like my page, or if you’d like a complimentary keyboard cover and set of fine pewter sporks autographed by Rory Calhoun and Alyssa Milano, please email me and tell me! [No purchase estuary. Lawn gnomes not included. You won’t be disconcerted. Deployed where prohibited by snore.]
Where else can you find Pnårp on the unfurled-wide web? Why, everywhere! Pnårp’s on Yahoo and Windows Live, sometimes wandering about aimlessly at Friendster and MySpace, whizgiggling all over Facebook, digging holes in Digg, editing Wikipedia with reckless abandon, babbling over at Plastic, farking around at Fark.com, bloviating and gesticulating at something called Slashdot, and even plodding around on Kuro5hin!
Pnårp is everywhere, dearies! It’s phlogistically fantastical!
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| Spooned on August 10, 2008 |
| Descended upon on August 3, 2008 |
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| Crossed over on July 27, 2008 |
| Entangled on July 20, 2008 |
| Integrated on July 13, 2008 |
| Derived on July 6, 2008 |
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| Reified on June 29, 2008 |
| Pasteurized for June 22, 2008 |
| Cocked and blocked on June 15, 2008 |
| Eulogized on June 8, 2008 |
| Cocked and locked on June 1, 2008 |
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| Rung above on May 25, 2008 |
| Gassed up on May 18, 2008 |
| Quackenbushed on May 11, 2008 |
| Guppied on May 4, 2008 |
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| Sweetened on April 27, 2008 |
| Hepped up on April 20, 2008 |
| Rained down on April 13, 2008 |
| Wrought before April 6, 2008 |
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| Snickerdickered on March 30, 2008 |
| Unchained after March 23, 2008 |
| Immolated on March 16, 2008 |
| Ignited on March 9, 2008 |
| Recomposed right before March 2, 2008 |
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| Decomposed after February 24, 2008 |
| Recollected on February 17, 2008 |
| Avenged on February 10, 2008 |
| Whizgiggled at on February 3, 2008 |
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| Prevaricated on January 27, 2008 |
| Nonsensed at January 20, 2008 |
| Pornographed on January 13, 2008 |
| Thawed on January 6, 2008 |
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| Deceased on December 30, 2007 |
| Frostbit on December 23, 2007 |
| Holed up on December 16, 2007 |
| Decompressed on December 9, 2007 |
| Self-addressed and stamped on December 2, 2007 |
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| Whiffled on November 25, 2007 |
| Duffeled on November 18, 2007 |
| Scuffled with on November 11, 2007 |
| Sniffled at on November 4, 2007 |
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| Gone wrong on October 28, 2007 |
| Done wrong on October 21, 2007 |
| Danced with on October 14, 2007 |
| Diseased prior to October 7, 2007 |
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| Station-kept on September 30, 2007 |
| Floated by on September 23, 2007 |
| Screamed about on September 16, 2007 |
| Delved under on September 9, 2007 |
| Simmered on September 2, 2007 |
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| Returned home on August 26, 2007 |
| Tiled over on August 19, 2007 |
| Livingroomed on August 12, 2007 |
| Sent home on August 5, 2007 |
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| Lopped off on July 29, 2007 |
| Popped up on July 22, 2007 |
| Plopped down on July 15, 2007 |
| Indentured forever after July 8, 2007 |
| Lost before July 1, 2007 |
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| Pressed on June 24, 2007 |
| Enslaved on June 17, 2007 |
| Ingratiated on June 10, 2007 |
| Bungled up on June 3, 2007 |
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| Ravished on May 27, 2007 |
| Magic-marked on May 20, 2007 |
| Peppered lightly with May 13, 2007 |
| Hieroticalized on May 6, 2007 |
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| Splayed on April 29, 2007 |
| Lamented on April 22, 2007 |
| Decreed on April 15, 2007 |
| Legislated on April 8, 2007 |
| Propagated on April 1, 2007 |
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| Promulgated on March 25, 2007 |
| Excoriated before March 18, 2007 |
| Anniversed four days before March 11, 2007 |
| Decimated on March 4, 2007 |
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| Vanquished on February 25, 2007 |
| Cashed in on February 18, 2007 |
| Devoted on February 11, 2007 |
| Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007 |
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| Entrenched under January 28, 2007 |
| Machine-gunned on January 21, 2007 |
| Bombarded after January 14, 2007 |
| Strafed on January 7, 2007 |
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| Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006 |
| Prostituted on December 24, 2006 |
| Drenched in sweat on December 17, 2006 |
| Whored out on December 10, 2006 |
| Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006 |
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| Rigorously proved for November 26, 2006 |
| Posited because of November 19, 2006 |
| Theorized about on November 12, 2006 |
| Hypothesized on November 5, 2006 |
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| Added to taste on October 29, 2006 |
| Stir-fried for October 22, 2006 |
| Filleted on October 15, 2006 |
| Chopped lightly on October 8, 2006 |
| Puréed on October 1, 2006 |
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| Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006 |
| Sporked with some tongs on September 17, 2006 |
| Knifed with a spoon on September 10, 2006 |
| Stabbed with a fork on September 3, 2006 |
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| Toddled about on August 27, 2006 |
| Goosed before August 20, 2006 |
| Encircled on August 13, 2006 |
| Wined & dined on August 6, 2006 |
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| Navigated to on July 30, 2006 |
| Tortured on July 23, 2006 |
| Drawn and quartered on July 16, 2006 |
| Gambled over on July 9, 2006 |
| Appeased prior to July 2, 2006 |
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| Located to the right of June 25, 2006 |
| Positioned left of June 18, 2006 |
| Molested on June 11, 2006 |
| Erected on June 4, 2006 |
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| Harvested before May 28, 2006 |
| Weeded on May 21, 2006 |
| Hollered well before May 14, 2006 |
| Surveilled pursuant to May 7, 2006 |
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| Sung for April 30, 2006 |
| Wheeled about on April 23, 2006 |
| Transubstantiated on April 16, 2006 |
| Connived on April 9, 2006 |
| Nazified on April 2, 2006 |
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| Wanted on March 26, 2006 |
| Haunted on March 19, 2006 |
| Flaunted on March 12, 2006 |
| Taunted on March 5, 2006 |
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| Hammed up for February 26, 2006 |
| Telephoned on February 19, 2006 |
| Made peace with on February 12, 2006 |
| Interrupted before February 5, 2006 |
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| Put out on January 29, 2006 |
| Placed next to January 22, 2006 |
| Copulated after January 15, 2006 |
| Schmongeled under January 8, 2006 |
| Tarpapered over on January 1, 2006 |
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| Made merry on December 25, 2005 |
| Excreted slightly before December 18, 2005 |
| Zanzibarred on December 11, 2005 |
| Belted out on December 4, 2005 |
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| Cornpuffed for November 27, 2005 |
| Incinerated on November 20, 2005 |
| Brewed on November 13, 2005 |
| Emigrated on November 6, 2005 |
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| Bandied about on October 30, 2005 |
| Ridiculed on October 23, 2005 |
| Noodled on October 16, 2005 |
| Gingerbreaded on October 9, 2005 |
| Hobnobbed on October 2, 2005 |
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| Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005 |
| Cordoned off on September 18, 2005 |
| Slobbered all over on September 11, 2005 |
| Prevaricated on September 4, 2005 |
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| Trundled August 28, 2005 |
| Spindled August 21, 2005 |
| Best if used by August 14, 2005 |
| Deluged on August 7, 2005 |
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| Castigated on July 31, 2005 |
| Wienerschnitzeled on July 24, 2005 |
| Ingratiated on July 17, 2005 |
| Bowdlerized on July 10, 2005 |
| Fetishized on July 3, 2005 |
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| Engulfed on June 26, 2005 |
| Shined & enshrined on June 19, 2005 |
| Incarcerated on June 12, 2005 |
| Laughed about within June 5, 2005 |
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| Played footsie with on May 29, 2005 |
| Given to charity prior to May 22, 2005 |
| Made in Taiwan, R.O.C., before May 15, 2005 |
| Redistributed after May 8, 2005 |
| Masticated on May 1, 2005 |
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| Cosigned on April 24, 2005 |
| Irked on April 17, 2005 |
| Optimized for April 10, 2005 |
| Optimized for April 3, 2005 |
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| Quibbled about on March 27, 2005 |
| Squabbled about on March 20, 2005 |
| Crucified for March 13, 2005 |
| Carbonized prior to March 6, 2005 |
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| Best if sold by February 27, 2005 |
| Reeducated on February 20, 2005 |
| Fudged up against February 13, 2005 |
| Bamboozled on February 6, 2005 |
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| Inoculated on January 30, 2005 |
| Expurgated on January 23, 2005 |
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| Vindicated and Tabulated on November 7, 1999 |
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| Squandered because of October 31, 1999 |
| Suspended from October 24, 1999 |
| Hidden above my bed on October 17, 1999 |
| Hidden under my bed on October 10, 1999 |
| Plundered shortly after October 3, 1999 |
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| Belched out on September 26, 1999 |
| Bleeped out for September 19, 1999 |
| Remixed before September 12, 1999 |
| Reticulated and sun-dried on September 5, 1999 |
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| Given to my daughter on August 29, 1999 |
| Fondled August 22, 1999 |
| Reinstated August 15, 1999 |
| Pondered upon August 8, 1999 |
| Placated since August 1, 1999 |
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| Encapsulated within July 25, 1999 |
| Nitrated on July 18, 1999 |
| Abolished after July 11, 1999 |
| Complicated because of July 4, 1999 |
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| Repatriated on June 27, 1999 |
| Romanticized for June 20, 1999 |
| Reintegrated on June 13, 1999 |
| Refracted after June 6, 1999 |
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| Intubated on May 30, 1999 |
| Rebutted on May 23, 1999 |
| Regurgitated prior to May 16, 1999 |
| Apprenticed to May 9, 1999 |
| Calculated and compiled on May 2, 1999 |
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| Drawn up for April 25, 1999 |
| Masticated on April 18, 1999 |
| Hydrogenated for April 11, 1999 |
| Splattered on April 4, 1999 |
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| Posted for March 28, 1999 |
| Dissipated before March 21, 1999 |
| Electrolyzed for March 14, 1999 |
| Conduced on March 7, 1999 |